Teaching the Perfect Sudent

So I have a fourth grade female student that is already the perfect flute player after 7 months of playing. Well according to her, and really isn't that what matters? Seriously, though, I have a significantly difficult time teaching her and physically dread her lesson every week.

She started taking lessons with me soon after she signed up for flute at school. Needless to say, she was still in the beginning stages of playing and just trying to get a consistent sound on the flute. Lessons with these beginner students are as follows: me teaching them new fingerings, me correcting them on breathing techniques, and me showing them how to practice an entire song.

Well not with this girl. I learned quickly when I would point out she didn't finger something correctly or help her when the sound was coming out that this wouldn't be an easy relationship. Tears would well up in her eyes (which I would feel completely horrible and guilty about since most of my students laugh and have a great time in their lesson) and she would say she already did it that way, it's just the flute that isn't working. Or even better, I had told her to do it the other way (the wrong way) and she was just following that.

Now I'm sure some of you are thinking, "Well you just aren't encouraging enough with her and you're only criticizing." Oh no! I am constantly encouraging her and praising her on even the most minute things to get her to just even trust me. For instance, I often ask my students to define a new term we had gone over the previous week so I would know they had understood the meand, and when I did it with this student she would give me some made up answer and when an explanation of the correct answer was given she would tell me I had told her the "incorrect" answer the previous week or she would claim that's what she had said.

To be honest, sometimes I've had to keep myself from laughing at the audacity.

So anyway, I finally had a talk with her just to try to get things flowing a little better. I told her when I correct something or point out a different way of doing something, it isn't that I am telling her she's a horrible person or completely wrong, just that their is a better/easier way of doing it. I also conveyed the message that I wanted to work as a team and in the past few lessons I felt she thought I was somehow working against her. She seemed to get the message and I gave her a moment to speak her piece as well, but she didn't say much other than she understood what I said. I think she was actually surprised that someone called her on it.

So the past few weeks have gone somewhat better, although I have been a lot more accomodating to her and just let her do her thing figuring eventually she'll let me help her. But yesterday was just the ultimate. We were going over a piece and I wanted her to work on the final part (the most difficult part, all of four measures though!) She complained that it was difficult. I told her it was, but if she took it in pieces and tried to be patient she would see great results kinda like riding a bicycle, we don't hop on and immediately ride away perfectly. And her response to this was "Well I've always pretty much been perfect at riding a bicycle", so I said well name something that you might have had to work at before you were perfect at it. And she sat there for a moment and then gave me a sheepish look, pretty much saying "I can't think of anything I'm not good at".

And I just gave up and laughed.