Pursteria!

I've been busy knittin' me up some cabled purses. The first one ended up being kinda small so I ended up having to change the purse handles I bought. I still like it though and I enjoy the surprise fabric I used to line it. Unfortunately this was my first foray into hand sewing and it isn't the neatest, but it works.


The second purse I tried to make bigger and I enjoy the handles I used. It's definitely one I'll be able to hold more than just my cell phone.

Easter Thoughts

Happy Easter everyone! Although I enjoy Christmas time a lot , Easter is a celebration that brings new beginnings and great hope. I always enjoyed Holy Week in college because of the great rebirth the Church goes through.

But this morning I was also thinking about how Mary must have felt during this time. How hard it must have been to lose her child and even worse to see him die in such a horrific way. Throughout the Bible she showed such incredible strength and this was someone who was so young.

This leads to me to what I have been pondering a lot this week: Strength. I often recalled the saying "God doesn't give us more than we can handle". I always thought this was true and often turn to it when I think my life is getting a little rough. This week, though, I couldn't quite understand why God thought I would be strong enough to go through everything I've been going through the last three weeks. (I can't believe it's only three weeks, it feels so much longer than that.)

And by the way, in no way am I comparing myself to Mary or her hardships. I realize there are so many others out there that have it so much worse than I do, which is a reason why I'm able to remain so positive.

But nonetheless, it hurts and I feel sad sometimes. I often find myself asking why? Why would God want me to handle this? Why did He think I could?

Then this answer came to me: maybe I couldn't handle what would happen if things didn't turn out this way. What if things went to term only to find out something was terribly wrong or I'd be forced to make decisions I am incapable of doing? This seemed like a revelation to me. Although this event has hurt me and made me sad, it IS something I can handle. And possibly something much more difficult was avoided because of it.

It doesn't make this any less difficult to deal with, and I'm not sure it's the correct answer, but it does help me find peace with it.

I Heart Memes

I found these memes (what does that word mean by the way? I'm an idiot) about books and music. Enjoy.

Directions:
Bold the books you've read.
Underline the books you have sitting on your shelf.
Italicize the books you're planning to read.
Strike through the books you have no desire to read.
(Put parentheses around the books you have never heard of.)


The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
The Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger
The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy - Douglas Adams
The Great Gatsby - F.Scott Fitzgerald
To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
The Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
(His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman)
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - J. K. Rowling
Life of Pi - Yann Martel
Animal Farm: A Fairy Story - George Orwell
Catch-22 - Joseph Heller
The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
Lord of the Flies - William Golding
Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
1984 - George Orwell
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - J. K. Rowling
(One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
Slaughterhouse 5 - Kurt Vonnegut
(The Secret History - Donna Tartt)
Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - C. S. Lewis
Middlesex - Jeffrey Eugenides
(Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell)
Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
(Atonement - Ian McEwan)
(The Shadow Of The Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon)
The Old Man and the Sea - Ernest Hemingway
(The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood)
The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
Dune - Frank Herbert

No idea where the list of books came from, but I'm glad I've read at least half of them.

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Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud, and press play. Use the song titles that come up to answer each question. NO CHEATING.

How does the world see me? "Where Do I Begin" Chemical Brothers (I think that pretty much says it all)
Will I have a happy life? "Cherish" Madonna (I guess if I cherish what's around me, I will?)
What do people really think of me? "Batucada" Towa Tei (Uhhh, yeah I don't know what that means, maybe people don't understand me? Hahaha)
Do people secretly lust after me? "Reminiscing" Little River Band (Is that a yes?)
How can I make myself happy? "Roll Out" Ludacris (I won't even post the lyrics to this song, but it's my biznaaaaaaaaaaassssss)
Will I ever have children? "Underground" Ben Folds (Uhhhhh.....)
What is some good advice for me? "Candy" Mandy Moore (I guess I need to eat more candy)
What do I think my current theme song is? "You've Made Me So Very Happy" Blood, Sweat, and Tears (I like it!)
What song will play at my funeral? "Afterglow" Vanessa Carlton (Sounds good to me)
What type of men/women do you like? "Good Bad Right Wrong" Kaiser Chiefs (Yea I like to change it up a bit. Keep me guessing)
Why am I here? "It's Coming Down" Cake (See just like I can't figure out this answer, I can't figure out why I'm here)
What will people remember me for? "Caoineadh Cu Chulainn (Lament)" Riverdance Soundtrack (Anyone know Gaelic?)
What song will I get stuck in my head tomorrow? "Son of a Preacher Man" Dusty Springfield (Alrighty then.)
Are there people outside waiting to take me away? "Neon" John Mayer (She buzzes just like neon, neon.)
What will this year be all about? "When We Dance" Sting (Neat.)

Say no to crack, kids.

Because apparently that was what I was smoking when I thought working at a grocery store would be all right in an effort to earn extra money. As some of you know I've been working there since the end of February. Well I quit today.

Here are some of the observations of the work environment I was subject to in the last month and a half.

• A woman with a PhD in science was working there and felt she was above everyone else even though she applied for the job and did the same things as us
• Same woman went out to gather carriages on two separate occasions and was shat on by the seagulls, consequently causing her to say she would never do it again without protective gear
• Same woman walked out on the job when asked to get carriages again saying she didn't have to do this, she had a PhD! (hello, you're working at a grocery store!)
• All customer service people are supposed to share the duties of getting the carriages from the parking lots. 4 of the people I work with brought in doctor's notes saying they had various conditions that didn't allow them to do this work. These same people all go out to their cars and smoke two cigarettes during their break.
  
• A mentally challenged guy was hired to work weekdays and help out with carriages. The customer service manager ended up scheduling him only on weekends, when there are a thousand high school students working.
• The same manager (she's 25 and has always worked at this grocery store since high school. I don't believe she has a college degree.) only promotes and hires kids under 25. The most recent promotion was of a 22 year old guy who consistently showed up 90 minutes late to work. In the afternoons, a 17 year old high school student is managing all of the employees bagging and cashiering. And he got this job because he's cute.
• We are supposed to suggest the "extreme value" to all of the customers otherwise they receive the item free. The person who sells the most is given a whopping $5 gift card. The same customer service manager took away this reward because she felt some people were making up their totals. When asked how she could tell this, she said she couldn't, she just felt some people were.
• In order to receive sale prices in the store, all customers have to have a store "rewards" card. They do not have to pay anything for this, just fill out a form. In my job, though, I had to sign a sheet saying I would not make up a card number or use someone else's card if a customer forgot theirs, otherwise I would be fired. Therefore, I had to have customers yell at me and say they would never come back all because of a piece of plastic they didn't pay for. (Mind you in my training, the biggest message we got was "the customer always comes first".)
  
• The manager of the entire store always says with a big smile"Hi Heidi" whenever he sees me, as if he knows who I am really well. Well, he does this every time except when I have my jacket on and it's covering up my name tag.
• In all of my training I was taught by using passive aggressive techniques. All in an effort to make sure I knew I wasn't in a power position.
• The customer service manager gave me a ten page review that my trainer was to fill out to make sure I understood all the skills of the cashier/bagger job. When I asked, what I was supposed to do with it, she said "Just check all the areas that you're suppose to know (something the trainer was to do) and hand it back in to me." Very effective.
• Someone today walked out on the job after two years because she wasn't put on a cashier before someone else.
• I had to watch a stupid video during orientation all about team work. There was even a ten minute segment with a song about this. After a month and a half, I feel like I have just left high school all over again.

So anyway, I'm out. I'm not sure this really conveys exactly the experience I had there, but I suggest to anyone considering working at a grocery store to find another option. Even if it's panhandling.

Why Are You Here?

Alrighty. As some of you know, I keep track of who visits my site. Why? Just 'cause.

What has always intrigued me, though, is how people find this blog when searching the internet. So I went back and viewed the last 43 searches that led people here, and I'm going to list them for you. I like to categorize them into "appropriate" and "inappropriate" categories. (Although some appropriate ones might be a little sketch)

Appropriate

1. bighoopla
2. candid (10 searches)
3. candid curvy
4. candid fun
   
5. child molesters
6. crate and barrel dune flatware
   
7. dd cup bra
8. felted purse patterns
   
9. foam tactile issues (my personal favorite)
10. g cup bra
    
11. sjp lovely dress photo
    
12. too formal for semi formal
13. victoria secret formal attire
14. "what the fresh hell is this"

Inappropriate

1. braless candid (6 searches)
   
2. candid braless (9 searches)
3. candid nude
4. candid nude camp pictures
5. "lindsey lohan" nude
   
6. nude britney spears
7. nude candid mom

Ok first, the britney spears and lindsey lohan ones are pretty much a given. But one might think "well at least there are twice as many appropriate searches as there are inappropriate". But if you look closely "braless candid" and "candid braless" total 15 searches alone! What do those searches even mean? I mean if you're going to search for porn or something why would you search those two words?! It seems ridiculous.

Now I know I'm going to get even more scary perverts coming to my blog now that this list is up. But I'm hoping maybe someone will comment and enlighten us with just what exactly is one searching for when you use those two words. And once you let us know, stop coming here!

A Change

I figured I needed to spruce up the blog a little. The old one wasn't as inspiring anymore. Unfortunately in doing so I had to redo all the changes I had made to the old one as well as putting in all my links again. Ugh. So yea, this is my new home for now.

Anyway, as my few readers are aware, I haven't had the best past two weeks. It was one of those things that can either make or break you. My boss, who is aware of what happened, said it's something that can make you feel empty inside(since he has experienced this as well), but I responded with "Actually it's brought me a lot of clarity".

My friend, Laura, posted this in her blog recently. And it pretty much sums up what I have been experiencing the past two weeks.

Although no one really truly understands what I have been through (just because they haven't experienced it themselves), I feel I was given the gift of seeing how truly blessed I am with the friends and family I have. When everything happened in just a few days, I had my family immediately by my side as well as friends calling me and sending me flowers. Although it didn't take the pain and shock away, it did help me stay positive. My friends have helped me laugh and enjoy my life, even through some of the saddest points.

I also realized just how lucky I am to have a husband as amazing, strong, and wonderful as Mr. Ellis. Even though he is experiencing this difficult time with me, he has supported me and carried me in an effort so I never have to feel pain. Although he's a quiet spirit sometimes, his feeling and love are deeper than any I have experienced.

If anything, all this "stuff" has humbled me to the point that I now realize I will have to forever work hard to deserve these people in my life.